Interesting indeed……

This is one really nice example of extreme photo editing…..

Tower: ” Del ta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Del ta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”

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Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.”
TWA 2341: “Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”
Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”

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From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m bored!”
Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!”
Unknown aircraft: “I said I was bored, not stupid!”

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O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this.. I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”

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A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, “What was your last known position?”
Student: “When I was number one for takeoff.”

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A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: “American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able…… If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.”

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A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): ” Ground, what is our start clearance time?”
Ground (in English): “If you want an answer you must speak in English.”
Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?”
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): “Because you lost the bloody war!”

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Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7″
Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”
Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?”
BR Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern… we’ve already notified our caterers.”

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One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the
Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
“What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?”
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:
“I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I’ll have enough parts for another one.”

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The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747,
call sign Speedbird 206 .
Speedbird 206: ” Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway.”
Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.”
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”
Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.”
G round (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?”
Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, — And I didn’t land.”

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While taxiing at London ’s Gatwick Airport , the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:
“US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Del ta! Stop right there. I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!”

Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: “God! Now you’ve screwed everything up! It’ll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don’t move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the humbled crew responded.

Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:
“Wasn’t I married to you once?”

If at first you don’t succeed…. destroy all evidence that you ever tried.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

The road to success… is always under construction.

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.

Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.
Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody is in a hurry to get there.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.  Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.  You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
 
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.  Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.  The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option  n one more.  You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving  you with nine cows.  No balance sheet provided with the release.   The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you  want three cows.
 
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and  market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,  and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.  You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.   You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
 
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
 
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.  You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.  You arrest the newsman  who reported the real situation. 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
 
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade our country.  You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.  You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks kinda cute.

How’s that for a no brainer!!!!!!!!!!

An Engineer comes along and sees what they’re trying to do, walks over, pulls the flag pole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.

After the Engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs. “We’re looking for height and he gives the length!”

Moral:  “No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in you”.

To all females:

this is you when you were young, OK

this is you when you are at your best, Oh yeah!

this will be you when you grow old………………………………………

So dont waste time being alone, there isn’t much time left…

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA……

* this is just a joke, no offence……

I was born intelligent -
education ruined me.

Practice makes perfect…..
But nobody’s perfect….. .
so why practice?

If it’s true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Since light travels faster than sound,
people appear bright until you hear them speak.

How come ‘abbreviated’ is such a long word?

Money is not everything.
There’s Mastercard & Visa.

One should love animals.
They are so tasty.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman
And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

Every man should marry.
After all, happiness is not the only thing in
life.

The wise never marry.
and when they marry they become otherwise.

Success is a relative term.
It brings so many relatives.

Never put off the work till tomorrow
what you can put off today.

‘Your future depends on your dreams’
So go to sleep

There should be a better way to start a day
Than waking up every morning

‘Hard work never killed anybody’
But why take the risk

‘Work fascinates me’
I can look at it for hours

God made relatives;
Thank God we can choose our friends.

The more you learn, the more you know,
The more you know, the more you forget
The more you forget, the less you know
So.. why learn.

A bus station is where a bus stops.
A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk, I have a work station….
what more can I say……..

Below was my answer…..

Man should i contribute more to Global Warming or what?