This kinda looks like a DDOS attack. Damn irratating, they better get this fix by tomorrow else i dont think i’m gonna watch any movies cause i hate being in a ticket queue.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.  Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.  You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes.
The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.
 
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.  Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.  The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option  n one more.  You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving  you with nine cows.  No balance sheet provided with the release.   The public then buys your bull.

THE ANDERSEN MODEL
You have two cows.
You shred them.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you  want three cows.
 
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.  You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and  market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month,  and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.  You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.   You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
 
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
 
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.  You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.  You arrest the newsman  who reported the real situation. 

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
 
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade our country.  You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.  You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks kinda cute.

How’s that for a no brainer!!!!!!!!!!

The advert

The Exhibition

Currently the games are played on the Xbox 360 console. Now this is the new era of playing, who needs to go out for an exercise when just playing games will get you a pretty good work out.

Here are some seven examples of chest pain that is probably not immediately life-threatening.

Acid reflux or heartburn
Chest pain can seem to be heart pain when it is related to the digestive tract. When acid reflexes flows back into the esophagus, it can cause a burning sensation in the chest. This chest pain can be mistaken for heart pain. The reason it was named as it was, even though it has nothing to do with the heart. This chest pain is not serious if it is occasional. If it happens frequently, you may be developing GERD, a more serious condition. To determine if the chest pain is serious, consider its occurrence. If the discomfort appears frequently after eating, then it might just be acid reflux. (There are medication to help ease Acid reflux, I just don’t know the name)

Bruising
Chest pain can occur due to bruising on the outside. Perhaps you were moving furniture or other large objects. At the time, you may have not realized that you had hurt yourself. Once you start to experience a throbbing sore on the chest, then it may be due to bruising.

Nerves
The roots of every nerve in the body are in the spinal cord. Smaller nerves branch from them along the neck and upper back. Chest pain can occur if one of these nerves is pinched where it leaves the spine. Chest pains caused by pinched nerves are sharp “shooting” pains. They may be triggered when you move your neck or arms in certain ways. The sensation should be in the left or right part of your chest. A massage by a trained therapist can relief this pain.

Rib injury
Chest pain can also caused by a bruised or fractured rib. This chest pain will be localized to the right or left side of the chest near the rib. This sort of pain would be a sharp distress, and may increase when the rib area is touched. This chest pain is likely to increase when coughing. You should see a doctor for treatment, but by no means is this a heart attack.

Strains and sprains
When it is a result of a strain or sprain to one of the many muscles, bones, tendons, and cartilages in the chest, chest pain is probably not serious. These chest pains last for only a few seconds. They may return frequently over a period of days, by moving into certain positions. They are non-cardiac symptoms

Stress
In our demanding work life, we are bound to face a lot of stress. As you respond to unusual demands on your body, emotions, or mind, you may tighten the muscles of the chest. This causes chest pain. With the pain, you may experience intense fear. Your heartbeat may increase, your breathing become rapid. You may perspire profusely and feel shortness of breath. This could be an anxiety or panic attack. A home remedy is to take deep, long breaths into a paper bag.

Ulcers
Another form of chest pains that is triggered by digestive tract problem is the pain of an ulcer in the stomach or duodenum. This chest pain, like the pain of acid reflux or heartburn, is often felt in the upper abdomen or lower chest. Although ulcer chest pains are not immediately serious, you should seek medical advice

Chest pain is one of the most frequent reasons people call for emergency help. Often that chest pain is not related to a heart problem. Even if you chest pain is not serious, it is better to go to the emergency room for evaluation

On the other hand
Probably the most life-threatening condition would be a heart attack. Other heart conditions can also cause chest pain, and should receive medical attention.

Other lung conditions can also cause chest pains like Pleurisy. Pleurisy is caused by inflammation of the pleura, the lining of the pleural cavity surrounding the lungs which is made worse when you cough or breathe in. Pulmonary embolism is another example which resembles something like Pleurisy but causes blood clot in the lung artery blocking blood flow to the tissue of the lungs and is made worse by a cough or deep breath.

Shingles is also another cause of chest pains. Shingles is a nerve infection caused by the same virus that causes chickenpox, often causes chest pains. This is a sharp, burning pain. It may begin a few hours or a day before a band of blisters appears on your back and chest.

If you cannot find an explanation for your chest pain, and it persists, take an aspirin and seek emergency medical care. If your chest pain feels like pressure or tightness in your chest, check for these symptoms…

1. Shortness of breath
2. Sweating
3. Nausea
4. Dizziness
5. Pain radiating to one or both arms or neck

If chest pain includes any of those symptoms, seek emergency medical care immediately.

Disclaimer: I am not a medical professional; I just read about this article over a magazine and decided to post it up to share information. Please discuss it with your health care provider before relying on it in anyway.

Behaving with little manners during meals may also offend other parties. By being well mannered over the table is now considered crucial in any business meals. In order to be well mannered, here are some tips on how to behave over a dinner table or lunch table.

1. Always watch yourself. Remember that you are not at home, so the little habits that you have should not apply in the restaurant, regardless of whether you’re in Kenny Rodgers or at Palace of the Golden Horses. Although there may be a difference in both such dining outlets, practicing good manners at all times will help improve your self-awareness. Avoid tapping your foot, do not put your fingers in your mouth to remove that stuck piece of meat between your teeth and please do not blow your nose at the table.

2. Dress to impress. The less formal the establishment, the more relaxed you can be, but that doesn’t mean you can leisurely walk into a restaurant in your Bermudas and slippers to greet your clients. Dress appropriately and try to look presentable. It is advised to be better dressed than the waiter. Example: if the waiters are wearing bow-ties, slacks and leather shoes, make sure you have a nice tie or at least your jacket.

3. Silverwares. The number of pieces of silverware corresponds directly with the number of courses in the meal. Starting from the outside in, on your left you should expect to see a salad fork outside of the dinner fork. On the right of your setting, you should find your butter knife outside of your dinner knife. Often the dessertspoon or fork is placed horizontally above your entrée plate, or brought when desert is served. Once you pick up a utensil, it should not touch the table again and never wave a utensil in the air. Nobody is going to be impressed by being pointed by a utensil by anyone.

4. Taste, then season. Did you realize that it is an insult to your host and the chef if you salt your food before tasting it? Remember – the chef’s ob is to season each dish perfectly. SO taste your food first and only add seasoning if you don’t think you can eat it as it is.

5. Chew it over. What do you do when your boss asks you a question just as you put a forkful of food into your mouth? Nod to him, acknowledge you heard the question, then chew quickly, swallow entirely, take a sip of water and then reply promptly. It helps a lot to make sure every bite is small. Like a size of a 50-cent coin.

6. Oops! I’ve spilled. If the spill is on the table, apologize and then discreetly clean it up with your napkin or serviette. If the spill interferes with your dining, summon the waiter. If you spilt on yourself, politely excuse yourself, clean up and return to the table as quickly as possible so as not to interrupt the flow of the meeting. Don’t agonize over an accident and keep in mind, you’re there to do business.

7. Ring… Ring…. Ah, nothing kills a conversation faster than the incessant ringing of a mobile phone (aside from a fart, which goes without saying), especially if the ringing tone’s screaming out a rock ballad. So, remind yourself to set it on silent mode before entering the restaurant, or if you’re awaiting an important phone call, take it outside. Nobody’s interested in knowing if your wife wants take away or not.

8. An uncomfortable question. If your companion asks a personal or uncomfortable enquiry in which you do not feel like providing an answer, you should either apply humor or just simply reply with an assertive “I’d prefer to not discuss my personal life”. No need to start blushing and fumble around. If you’re comfortable, use the conversation to build connection and relationship but if you’re not, then just tactfully change the subject.

9. To drink or not to drink? Alcoholic beverages are not recommended. Getting uncontrollably drunk on your second glass of wine and pouring your heart out to a potentially client is highly not advisable. A tip is to order a normal alcoholic beverage and another non-alcoholic beverage as well as to ensure your dining partners are comfortable with their orders.

10. Lasting impression. Don’t put elbows on the table. You can sometimes rest your forearms on the edge of the table. If you want to rest, you can put your wrists only on the table. Be yourself, or rather, just be more conscious of yourself. Do not pick your teeth at the table after your meal. Excuse yourself to the bathroom and do your private grooming there.

The way you behave normally dictates the way you behave in business. Manners are important if you want to make an impression, grab a promotion or simply build a stringer business relationship.

One day the Jade Emperor decided to appoint the animals to help govern the earth. To be fair to the animals the Jade Emperor organized a race in order to place who should govern the years according to their finish. The animals would all have to start by a certain date and arrive by a certain date. The Jade Emperor then sent his messenger to the village to tell the animals about the race.

As we know, the animals in the village were household animals like the rat, cat, dog, ox, pig, horse, rooster and sheep. Since the messenger couldn’t waste time looking for the animals in the wild, he randomly appointed the rat to tell the animals in the wild about the race as well which are the tiger, dragon, hare, snake and monkey.

The rat being cheeky and inferior told the animals in the wild about the race but gave them all a later date to arrive. That is why you see most of the strong animals didn’t come in first and wonder why. The rat, ox, cat and dog being the closest animals in the village decided to travel together because they have been the closest animals to humans.

On the way to the Jade Emperor palace, they have to cross the yellow river. Because the rat and the cat couldn’t swim they needed assistance. The Ox offered one of them a ride and the rat quickly took up the offer and so the rat and the Ox went first. The dog being able to swim as well offered the cat a ride on his back too. Half way across the river, the rat came up with an idea saying that they might as well wash themselves while crossing the river so that they would be clean when they meet with the Jade Emperor. The dog thought it was a good idea and started splashing around forgetting about the cat behind him thus dropping the cat into the river.

Somehow the cat survived the ordeal at the other side of the river. Because the cat was so angry at the rat for coming up with such a ridiculous idea the cat threatened to kill the rat. The rat became so scared that the rat quickly jumped up the Ox’s back. The cat being so sick and weak from the ordeal couldn’t catch the rat. The cat then released his anger on the dog and they had a fight. Because the cat was weak, the cat obviously couldn’t win but managed to bite the dog’s leg and injured the dog quite badly. The cow knew that it would be meaningless to stay any longer and decided to keep on going. After the fight the dog then continued the race with the injured leg.

The cow being so hardworking kept going on and on with the rat on the back until they reached the doorstep of the palace. Just before entering the palace the tiger showed up behind the cow and rat. The rat mistakenly took the tiger for the cat and was so scared that the rat jumped of the cows head and squeeze through the palace door, thus the rat being the first, the cow being the second and the tiger being the third. The tiger was there early because the tiger wanted to be the first. All the other animals came in later all due to the rat telling them all the later dates. As for the pig, the pig was so lazy that the pig came in last but just in time before the last day.

The dog came in 11th despite starting off early because of the injured leg caused by the cat. The dog’s leg was so badly injured they the dog actually couldn’t make it at first, but then came along Guan Yin, the Bodhisattva of Compassion which took pity of the dog’s leg that she patched up the dog’s leg with dry leaves making a temporary good leg for the dog. Guan Yin also warned the dog not to get the temporary leg wet as it is made out of dried leaves therefore whenever the dog should urinate, the dog should lift the temporary good leg up as you can see dogs doing nowadays.

As for the cat, the cat couldn’t make it because the cat became so sick and weak that the cat missed the last day of the race and was not chosen to be in the calendar. Therefore the cat is so angry that whenever the cat see’s the rat, the cat will kill the rat which you would see most of the time. Additional to that, because the dog was angry that the cat bit his leg and cost him to lose an early placing the dog will always try and chase the cat which you would also see every day.

The End

As for the story I find it quite interesting and funny, thou not all the animals’ journey was described. This is one of the most complete story about the 12 zodiac animals I’ve heard so far.

You can check your mobile phone serial number by keying in the following digits on your phone: “* # 0 6 #”

A 15 digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. From here it would be better to write it down and keep it somewhere safe for your reference.

Should your phone get stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your stolen hand phone will be totally useless.

You probably won’t get your phone back thou, but at least you know that whoever stole it can’t use or sell it either.

Yeah, talking about little tricks like this, I wish I knew this beforehand. I had 2 of my hand phones stolen up to date, and both hand phones were new and it didn’t last a year. Wish I knew this earlier and tried it out for real.

This mind playing trick is really good. It makes me wonder if i were to be that unaware of things sometimes. There are quite alot of videos in youtube about Derren Brown and his mind playing tricks, you can check it out.

So this is how it goes. Going to the spa is not a matter of going in and doing whatever you like. Similar to a working environment, there are dos and don’ts and dress code to follow else other people might get rubbed off or people might get the wrong idea.

Going to a massage parlour: There are different types of massages which include the common Thai Massage, Shiatsu, Aromatherapy and a lot more. Going to a massage parlour doesn’t mean that you get any special services related to sex. A massage is a treatment and practice of manipulation of the body that involves pressure, tension, motion or vibration on certain muscle groups, so don’t try to get funny in a massage parlour. Once you are in the parlour, do not touch the masseuse or do anything with your hands that you wouldn’t do in front of your mum.

Dress code: Only remove clothes that you are ask to remove. Do what the masseuse tells you to do and cooperate, there is no need to get embarrassed, the masseuse knows what they are doing and needs your cooperation to do what they need to do.

The changing rooms: Being nude in the changing room is ok but not for too long while doing something else. Taking your towel off to shower or to change is fine but never stay naked while talking on the phone for instance or grooming your hair in front of the mirror while naked. Shaving in the shower or clipping your nails are not supposed to be done in the changing room. The rule as I was told goes as “if it produces any waste, you cannot do it in public”, so no nail clipping, shaving, plucking of hair or anything that will produce waste.

Entering a Jacuzzi or a sauna: Going to a Jacuzzi, bikinis are not allowed in the Jacuzzi because it is not appropriate for a Jacuzzi environment. The Jacuzzi contains water jets that simulate a massage by shooting water onto the body, the shooting water can sometimes cause tickling sensations if you are not used to it. If you get this tickling sensations do not go: “oooh, ah, hee-hee” or whatsoever. And for bikinis, water jets could blow it off, that’s why it’s not appropriate.

Hygiene: Take a short shower before going in to the Jacuzzi or sauna; this will wash away the dirty and smelly sweat and oil on your body. You wouldn’t want your dirty body oil seen floating in the Jacuzzi water that would ruin everybody’s experience.

Seating: Always sit as far away from each other if possible, if there is too many people in the Jacuzzi or sauna don’t go in and wait till there are lesser people if possible before going in.

Talking: Do not talk at all. Not even in emergencies if possible. Checking if someone is dead or not is usually necessary in a Jacuzzi but in a sauna, normally people would have passed out due to the heat. Don’t be tempted to speak in a sauna to check for signs of life. You could observe their rib cage to check for breathing and hope they don’t suddenly open their eyes catching you staring at them – on the bright side, it would mean they are alive anyway.

Eye contact: Never make any form of eye contact. Don’t even swivel your eyeballs to keep your eyelids warm.

The Gym: Dress code: Avoid short shorts. Avoid T-shirts with political slogans. Avoid bra-tops hipsters trousers, avoid anything with football insignia, T-shirt with band names, T-shirt with risqué slogans such as “kiss my @$$”. Do not even think of wearing leotards or leggings (especially if you are men), loose cotton-mix long shorts that you can clearly see out-lines through and flashing trainer shoes as in shoes with lights (why lights in shoes?).

Ogling: Do not ogle at other people.

Sweat pools: Always bring a small towel along. Every time you used any equipment in the gym, you will most probably leave traces of your sweat on that equipment especially at the head and back support. Wipe them off so the next user will not see your sweat. You would not want to use an equipment with somebody else’s sweat on it don’t you. For additional information too, if you don’t wipe of the sweat and just leave it there, the sweat can cause the cushion to rot and be broken.

The pool: Lane discipline: Don’t do stupid things in the fast lane. Don’t swim to close to the person to the person in front of you. It is an ongoing fear for all swimmers for someone to swim right behind them to check them out.

Staring at people:  Do not stare at people as they walk up and down the side of the pool.

Splashing: Try not to do the butterfly stroke or anything splashy that may disturb the swimmer next to you or end up splashing the side of the pool.

I suppose that concludes what I was taught by my parents about spa etiquette, I never knew that etiquette can be so complicated but for the convenience of everyone, I suppose you need some rules to make things more comfortable. Why am I talking about this?