Pilot Error
By jykwan | August 27, 2009
Funny Stuff!
Actual exchanges between pilots and control towers
Tower: ” Del ta 351, you have traffic at 10 o’clock, 6 miles!”
Del ta 351: “Give us another hint! We have digital watches!”
************************************************************************
Tower: “TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.”
TWA 2341: “Center, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”
Tower: “Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”
************************************************************************
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: “I’m bored!”
Ground Traffic Control: “Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!”
Unknown aircraft: “I said I was bored, not stupid!”
************************************************************************
O’Hare Approach Control to a 747: “United 329 heavy, your traffic is a Fokker, one o’clock, three miles, Eastbound.”
United 329: “Approach, I’ve always wanted to say this.. I’ve got the little Fokker in sight.”
************************************************************************
A student became lost during a solo cross-country flight. While attempting to locate the aircraft on radar, ATC asked, “What was your last known position?”
Student: “When I was number one for takeoff.”
************************************************************************
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down.
San Jose Tower Noted: “American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able…… If you are not able, take the Guadeloupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.”
************************************************************************
A Pan Am 727 flight, waiting for start clearance in Munich , overheard the following:
Lufthansa (in German): ” Ground, what is our start clearance time?”
Ground (in English): “If you want an answer you must speak in English.”
Lufthansa (in English): “I am a German, flying a German airplane, in Germany . Why must I speak English?”
Unknown voice from another plane (in a beautiful British accent): “Because you lost the bloody war!”
************************************************************************
Tower: “Eastern 702, cleared for takeoff, contact Departure on frequency 124.7″
Eastern 702: “Tower, Eastern 702 switching to Departure. By the way,after we lifted off we saw some kind of dead animal on the far end of the runway.”
Tower: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff behind Eastern 702, contact Departure on frequency 124.7. Did you copy that report from Eastern 702?”
BR Continental 635: “Continental 635, cleared for takeoff, roger; and yes, we copied Eastern… we’ve already notified our caterers.”
************************************************************************
One day the pilot of a Cherokee 180 was told by the tower to hold short of the active runway while a DC-8 landed. The DC-8 landed, rolled out, turned around, and taxied back past the
Cherokee.
Some quick-witted comedian in the DC-8 crew got on the radio and said,
“What a cute little plane. Did you make it all by yourself?”
The Cherokee pilot, not about to let the insult go by, came back with a real zinger:
“I made it out of DC-8 parts. Another landing like yours and I’ll have enough parts for another one.”
************************************************************************
The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one’s gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them. So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747,
call sign Speedbird 206 .
Speedbird 206: ” Frankfurt , Speedbird 206! clear of active runway.”
Ground: “Speedbird 206. Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven.”
The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.
Ground: “Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?”
Speedbird 206: “Stand by, Ground, I’m looking up our gate location now.”
G round (with quite arrogant impatience): “Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?”
Speedbird 206 (coolly): “Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, — And I didn’t land.”
************************************************************************
While taxiing at London ’s Gatwick Airport , the crew of a US Air flight departing for Ft. Lauderdale made a wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. An irate female ground controller lashed out at the US Air crew, screaming:
“US Air 2771, where the hell are you going? I told you to turn right onto Charlie taxiway! You turned right on Del ta! Stop right there. I know it’s difficult for you to tell the difference between C and D, but get it right!”
Continuing her rage to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting hysterically: “God! Now you’ve screwed everything up! It’ll take forever to sort this out! You stay right there and don’t move till I tell you to! You can expect progressive taxi instructions in about half an hour, and I want you to go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I tell you! You got that, US Air 2771?”
“Yes, ma’am,” the humbled crew responded.
Naturally, the ground control communications frequency fell terribly silent after the verbal bashing of US Air 2771. Nobody wanted to chance engaging the irate ground controller in her current state of mind. Tension in every cockpit out around Gatwick was definitely running high. Just then an unknown pilot broke the silence and keyed his microphone, asking:
“Wasn’t I married to you once?”
Topics: Humor | No Comments »
Artistic Imagination
By jykwan | August 9, 2009
Here i go again, somore art that i stumbled upon and it looks quite nice… this are digitally drawn i think…
Nice…
Topics: Art | No Comments »
Damn…. I hate to be involve in a car accident…
By jykwan | July 19, 2009
Of all the bad things that happen today… it has to be a DAMN car accident, thou not a major one, but the DAMN damage is enough to empty up half a months salay. In my point of view, i have really no idea who was in the wrong, but based on discussion with the party involve, it seems to me that the car a banged into was the cause of the accident. DAMN Illegal U-Turn at the most DAMN unexpected place you can DAMN imagine. Hard to explain but i’ll leave it at that. Finally we concluded that we managed our own cars privately without going through any NGO or Governemnt Authority as frankly, those DAMN systems are really a DAMN hassle and can just waste 1 DAMN whole day just to make a DAMN report and 2 weeks of DAMN ivestigation. Insurance will take about 1 DAMN week to process, and then maybe about another DAMN week of repairs and i can’t drive the car in that DAMN duration, so it’s a really DAMN big hassle just to claim that DAMN insurance. Its not that the car isn’t drivable… it’s just not nice to look at but the lights still work fine thou. DAMN… what timing…. i dont think i can get it out of my DAMN mind for awhile and DAMN i have quite alot of work to do… I need to fix this as soon as possible, and i’m running low on cash, and it’s just so DAMN…
Here are the ….. pics by the way…
Front view
Dioganal view
side view (as i can see, my left front wheel now is DAMN exposed)
DAMN….
Topics: As my day goes by, Rant | No Comments »
Interesting One Liners
By jykwan | July 16, 2009
To Err is human, but to forgive is not a COMPANY policy.
If at first you don’t succeed…. destroy all evidence that you ever tried.
When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.
The road to success… is always under construction.
Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again, neither does Milk.
Since Light travels faster than Sound, people appear brighter before you hear them speak.
Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.
An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.
Where there is a WILL, there is a WAY.
Where there is MONEY, there are many WAYS.
Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.
Everyone wants to go to heaven, but nobody is in a hurry to get there.
Topics: Humor, Interesting Stuff | 1 Comment »
Sungai Gabai, Selangor
By jykwan | July 8, 2009
This was just a random trip to try out my new camera skills on taking pictures of moving water. Sungai Gabai is a local recreation site for the small village of Kampung Gabai. Its a place where the locals can relax and enjoy themselves anytime of the day especially when the weather is hot. Visitors can take a dip in the water as the water is cool and nice.
The safest highest point of the Gabai falls
Still at the highest point, but another smaller gentle fall
The starting point of the big fall to the second highest point.
The big fall seen from an observation point.
The view from the foot of the big fall.
The last and the lowest fall
Warning sign
There is a small food stall center just at the bottom of the fall if you’re hungry or thirsty
Just a random flower
Topics: Photography, Travel & Destination | No Comments »
« Previous Entries Next Entries »